E G O S P E W

Harrigan leaps gracefully over winter sidewalk salty nastiness. (NYC 12/2001)

I always wondered by what process Harrigan could engorge himself with various raw materials (puppy chow, pizza, turkey, bagels) then convert them into fur, love, and magnificent leaps.

Finally, thanks to the miracle of modern technology, we have the answer:

harrycat

Harry’s Miraculous Innards

Epilogue: Unfortunately, milliseconds after this NMRI scan was saved to disk, the subject vaporized into nothingness (a quite beautiful flash) as all ferromagnetic components accelerated to speed-of-light vectors toward the extreme corners of the room or even the known universe.
Thanks to Satre Stuelke and http://www.radiologyart.com/

Photo edited to fit original dog proportions.

I don’t know this doggie’s name, but it’s another cutie.  I just saw the notice taped to the front of the Republican Headquarters office on Main Street, which is recently For Sale, ahem.

I do hope he/she had that warm Christmas sweater on when it went out.  It’s been a cold month since then, and hopefully he/she has been found by now.

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I like to help out my fellow canophiles by publicizing any lost dog notices.  After gassing up at the Kwik-Fill in Geneva on Monday (1/26/09), I saw the notice below at the checkout counter.  The attendant told me Lauren works there.

Please keep a lookout for Juno as you drive along Route 14.  It is very cold and snowy out there, and the tractor trailers go too fast.

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I was most excited about my wife’s and my recent decision to purchase a fancy new sewing machine. This has been an item of her desire for a long time and I fully support acquiring the tools to make her happy. (Though I am not so dim as to buy her, say,  a vacuum cleaner for her birthday.  We tend to both get excited over Dysons and I realize I would be getting it as much for me as her.)

She is incredibly artistic and handy and can knit or crochet absolutely anything in about two episodes of Dexter. (Offered into evidence: Teddy bears Campbell Brown and Lynley, knit from scratch.)  When we lived in Brooklyn she used to actually knit bullet-proof vests for the officers in the local precinct. (That kevlar yarn was a beast to work with. She had to special-order 9-millimeter teflon-coated armor-piercing needles.)  It’s impossible to calculate how many lives she must have saved over those harsh winters.

It became a friendly game that whenever I brought up the concept of acquiring a Kawasaki Ninja motorcycle, she would idly and codependently mention the fancy sewing machine. She apparently equated both items expensewise, and indeed I had no problem spending an equivalent amount on a Super-Duper Sewing Computer that she would coax to weave colorful rugs and darn life-size presidential portraits and such. But the model she wanted was much more modest. In reality the Ninja (itself a very modest 250cc) would cost about 10 times the Singer. Talk about a guilt trip.

Anyway, now the Singer has arrived, and I assume I have the Ninja green light, which coincidentally, is the desired color! Yay!

(Important Note to Wife and Sister and Concerned Readers: Relax. The above paragraph employed poetic license purely for entertainment purposes. There is no money for silly dangerous toys. I am not running out to buy a motorcycle anytime soon. Likely never.) Unyay. 

The Big Day

We opened the carton together, with equal anticipation. Oh-boy, oh-boy, oh-boy! You know, it’s programmable with little patterns, and that’s a big turn-on.

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My coining of Nyertoon [pronounced NYE-er-toon, pretty much the way it's spelled] leads me to put this post under Llewellynguistics. It means New Yorker Cartoon, get it?

I was trying to come up with a blend of “cartoon” and some animal, preferably doggie hybrid style (whoa, that doesn’t sound right).

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