E G O S P E W

Ldawg.4377 scowled at the hovering image of the vidAAgent® so in his face. “I want a wucking window! And not over a wucking wing!”

“No problem. * Please note: Window locations present increased radiation levels potential, which have been demonstrated in non-trivial samples to cause cancer and genetic mutations. Some mutations are beneficial. This has been a government-mandated notification. * I can offer 47-A or 233-Gamma.”

“Gucking Gamma? On the Greek side of the pucking plane? Nope. Gimme A. Left side. Pucking posh. Then Gamma return. See the sucking city going out. See it again coming home. Can’t get enough of France’s second gift, for 9/11-II. Miss Statue of Liberty gazing at the Eiffel Twoer built on Freedom Tower’s ashes. Freeffel Twoer. Ha. Yeah, 47-A. BOOK, SEAT, 47-A. . . . PLEASE. How many complimentary pretzels do I get?”

“No problem. You have reserved seat 47-A. That flight comes with Class4 amenities: Recycled water is supplied in times of demonstrated medical emergency only. Please acknowledge by stating ‘I Accept.’”

“I ucking accept! Yuck.”

“Please acknowledge by stating ‘I Accept.’”

“I ACCEPT! You tucking turd!”

“Thank you. Your validity is confirmed. Thank you for choosing American Airways.”

“Like there’s a ducking difference.”

Ldawg slapped his transPod® into client-autoguide mode under AA server control. It dutifully jerked toward the jetway, joining streams of similar, though personalized, individual environment capsules, or iEpods™. Shiny decals of aliens and holograms of middle fingers danced off their contours. The stadium sized fuselage was nearly full on his level. As he was glided down the aisle, the nine pods in his row shifted out and back just as he arrived and his slid neatly into place, left-eyeport snugged neatly up against the multiCoat Plexiglas. The 10-10-10 configuration was a model of efficiency. Didn’t the French come up with decimal time, too? “CHARGE” and “LINK” indicators blinked as the transPod auto-Mated with the Airbus 999 and his accumulated waste was evacuated. A fresh breeze of tranquility pheromones wafted up through his custoForm bucket. It almost reminded him of a scratch-n-sniff post card of a New Jersey pine barren. He cocked an eye to the left and gazed out at the wonder.